So there I was, using the computer at 3:06 a.m. in the morning, you know typical normal behavior, when out of the corner of my eye I see something huge black thing moving. Guess what it was.

.....That's right! It was a black SUV that was parked outside my window.

But any-whoo, onto the spider.

So there I was and I see this huge black spider on my wall in front of me. I stared it down before doing anything, being careful to analyze it's movments. After all, I didn't want it to be one of those spiders that are quick as hell and escape in a moment's notice.

I rushed into the kitchen out of where I brought out my weapons to combat the little bugger. And there I was...ready to kill the spider that killed my mother. (Well not really, but it might have freaked her out one time in the past...Hell, I dunno.)

The spider twitched as if sensing the very hate and anger I was emitting at that very moment. I moved closer. The spider stood still. As I got ready to attack, I could have sworn I saw one of it's eight malicious legs trying to draw some sort of attack plan or weapon. But it was too slow...

I lunged at it and yelled "YA-HA!!!! DIE YOU PIECE OF ARACHNID CRAP!!!!" (In my mind of course, seeing as it's 3 in the morning and my mom's in the next room.)

In the end there could only be one victor.

. . .

</suspense builds here btw>

It was the deadly combination of Windex (Multi Task Formula: Cuts Grease, Cleans Glass & More! Buy it today!) and a fly swatter that destroyed the beast.

And now it just lays there. To wallow in it's own juices and my Windex (Economy size! Seriously, buy it today!) I leave it's body there as a warning to whatever other spider that threatens my family. But mostly cause it's gross and I do not want to pick that crap up.

* * * * * * *

Sadly, I now feel disgraced as a Spider-Man fan.